After all the things I did to be fine
I still find myself in the verge of cryin’
Every thought triggers a memory
Only that there remains the pain
No more joy or any good feelings
Just the suffering I had to endure alone and in silence
I cannot bring myself to open my heart again
As I felt that I am going to be unfair
Undeserving to accept anything if I can’t be whole
But will I even get to that point?
Will I ever forgive myself that I’ve come to hate?
That I’ve come to hate for how much I am willing to lose myself to heal you
Stupid mistake
Stupid enough to realize just now
That I have only hated myself in this process
But how should I ask forgiveness to myself?
How long should I punish myself for losing me once and now finding it hard to return?